Fashion

Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Holiday Gift Guide is "Ridiculous but Awesome"

For the season of giving, Gwyneth Paltrow has curated a special gift guide that includes everything from an LED lamp made out of bread to a healing session by a modern witch.
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@gwynethpaltrow

It’s the most wonderful—and wacky—time of the year! Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop drops its annual holiday gift guide today, and, as can be expected from the lifestyle-slash-wellness brand that propelled jade eggs and vagina-scented candles into the collective consciousness, this year’s wish list is as outrageous and over-the-top as ever.   

1605721208925821 1 gwynethpaltrow
@gwynethpaltrow

With a few nods to the age of quarantine, Goop’s Christmas curation ranges from the fairly ordinary (e.g. a wireless charging station with built-in UV LED sanitizer and a matcha starter kit) to the eyebrow-raising (e.g. a post-structuralist vulva colouring book and a transformable vibrator necklace) to the downright bizarre (a gemstone heat therapy mat, a collar and lead bondage set, and a remote healing session by a beauty witch, anyone?). Paltrow even dedicated an entire section to “ridiculous but awesome” gifts, which includes a cut of A5 wagyu beef worth over $2,450, a pyramid-shaped commode, and a mobile home office/yoga studio/bedroom.

Here, L'OFFICIEL rounds up 8 of the most extravagant and, uh, unusual items you can consider for a truly unforgettable festive season.

PlantWave

Transpose the electrical currents emitted by your favourite houseplants into soothing music with this ingenious device.

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Photo via Goop

Edie Parker Ouija Board

Get into the spirit of the season (literally) with an Ouija talking board crafted in “hand-poured, glitter-bombed acrylic.”

1605721209454234 2 ouija board edie parker
@edie_parker

Pampshade Batard Bread Lamp

Paltrow may be gluten-free, but that shouldn’t stop you from declaring your undying love for refined carbs with this rustic batard LED lamp, which is made of real bread coated in resin.

1605721209770888 3 bread lamp pampshade
@pampshade

Tsuchiya Kaban Watermelon Bag

Forget those reusable shopping totes, if you’re looking to step up your supermarket style, try this leather watermelon bag instead.

1605721210052359 4 watermelon bag tsuchiya.global
@tsuchiya.global

Single Needle Hand Poke Tattoo Kit

Apparently, stick-and-poke tattoos hurt less and heal quicker than those done by machine, but still, maybe don’t try this at home.

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@singleneedletattoo

Modern Tiny Living House

A dream home, but in miniature. This custom-built tiny home takes downsizing to another level.

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@moderntinyliving

 

Established Titles Pack

You too can be royalty, or at least nobility, thanks to this little kit that grants you a souvenir plot of land in Scotland and the title of “Laird” or “Lady.”

1605721210830207 7 lordship title pack letthelordbewithyou
@letthelordbewithyou

Igneous Bath Self-Heating Tub

Described as “functional art,” this sleek and sculptural self-heating bathtub is the definition of sheer luxury, because a regular shower just doesn’t cut it anymore.  

1605721211100226 8 self heating bathtub igneousbath
@igneousbath

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